Psychologist and Clinical Psychotherapist
C.S.W; B.S.Sci.Psych (Hons); FACCP; LMAAPi

Life after cheating

Feb 12, 2016 | Lies

I left my husband of ten years three months ago for another man. It was a terrible mistake. I have tried to reconcile with my husband but he won’t forgive me. I love him, I know that now more than ever. What can I do to regain his love and trust again. I feel so miserable without him.

Answer:

Infidelity is so painful, as you are both experiencing. It is sad that your husband won’t forgive you, but many people just can’t find room in their hearts to forgive. Love and trust can be gained over time, but first you have to convince your husband to give you a second chance. I suggest you woo your husband with everything you have got in you. Send him flowers, letters, beg, grovel, whatever you have to do to convince him that you are willing to do anything for him to give you a second chance. Explain to him that you know you have to earn his trust and that will come back in time. Show him how remorseful you are and validate what he is feeling. If for example, he says he can’t forgive you as he is hurt and angry, answer him with, “I am sorry I did this to you,” rather than, “please give me another chance.” In other words, let him know that you are remorseful for doing what you did to him rather than what you did to yourself. Good luck.

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